Unexpected Hunger: The Sinking Middle Class

Please take a moment to read the following, sent to us by one of our neighbors in need. She signed it "Anonymous" - but we would like to reach out to her and let her know that we can help. Through our Food Connection hotline (1-800-984-3663), we are able to provide emergency food and refer them to other agencies that provide support beyond food to families just like hers. She is not alone, and we hope that by sharing her story, we will be able to collectively shed some of the perceived stigma attached to not having enough money to make ends meet.

Please do a blog post on the sinking middle class, of which I am a member. I have heard much of what is described as 'food insecurity' and not being able to afford not just any food but good healthy food. This is us- many times I don't eat the meat of whatever I make for dinner so my sons and husband can have enough, or there will be enough to add to another meal. Pop tarts are cheaper than fresh apples or other fruits for breakfast, but a young kid will eat this. There are other drinks cheaper than milk. 

I feel guilty but I am afraid to even try to get help- that they will say "you have a mortgage, you have a car, you shouldn't be here, your problems aren't real" , but they are. I am constantly rationing my own food and have even sunken to grabbing a box of cereal out of a food donation bin when we ran out-when asked where it came from I lied and said I had forgotten it in the trunk of the car from a previous shopping trip. I wish we could buy more produce and fresh food. 

Although my husband is still working- because of recent auto and dental emergencies we are strapped. Again, I feel if I try to go get help on my own (husband would probably be angry if he knew I did it) I will be looked at badly or put through the humiliating wringer of having to fill out lots of paperwork or be treated like I don't really deserve or need the help. I don't even want my younger son to have schoolmates come over for play dates because I feel like I should offer the visiting kid stuff and then there won't be enough for my own, which is awful. 

The thinking for people like me is just what I fear - that they will say "you have a computer to even send this, you must be all right. You're just making this up, you don't really need help". For one, I only have to pay 10 bucks a month for the internet I have. I don't spend on clothes or other luxuries. My car is almost ten years old. Sure, we are not the worst off of the worst, but the recession and family emergencies have taken their toll. I used to donate to food banks, and now it is me who is hungry, who recognizes myself in these descriptions of food insecurity, who finds myself noticing people coming and going from restaurants and noticing what anyone at all is eating at any time because of my own hunger. I have to stop myself from pigging out at any event when there is free food, or stealing food out of the teacher's room at my kid's school when they have stuff lying out there, or even sneaking eating food in the grocery from the deli or bakery area. 

I know I should be glad that we can even still afford to get cheap food, like pasta and pop tarts, but I wish I could get real healthy food for my family that they liked, and that there would be enough- and that I could go get help and not be made to feel ashamed or like I don't deserve the help. What makes being middle class hungry so horrible besides the experience itself, is having to hide and deny it, because others think you are doing ok, and the fear of the others who are ok trying to rope you into donating or even making food for the school or parties when you don't have enough for your own family- so you find yourself avoiding people.  

Well thanks for providing a place to vent. 

–Anonymous

Thank you for taking the time to read this. With knowledge comes understanding and compassion, and we need that in bunches right now!

Current and Upcoming Holiday Food Drives

Support Second Harvest Food Bank by participating in the following Food Drives in your neighborhood this holiday season:

NOW through JANUARY 5: 
Lucky, Food Maxx and Save Mart Holiday Food Drive
You can support the Food Bank while shopping at your local Lucky, Food Maxx or Save Mart store - simply drop non-perishable items to donate in our Food Bank barrels. All Save Mart and Lucky stores will have $10 and $20 bags of their pre-selected food items that you can buy and place in the barrels.

NOW through JANUARY 1: 
ABC7 / Safeway Share your Holiday Food Drive
You can support the Food Bank while shopping at your local Safeway store - simply drop non-perishable items to donate in our Food Bank barrels.
Find a Safeway location near you

NOW through JANUARY 8: 
CBS5 / Whole Foods Market
Food for Bay Area Families: Help provide food for families in need this holiday season - donate non-perishable items at your local Whole Foods Market. Look for our barrels at a Whole Foods location near you.
Find your nearest Whole Foods Market location

TUESDAY DECEMBER 8:
Whole Foods Market "5% Day"
Stock up on organic groceries, gourmet treats and superb buffet items while helping to feed those in need! All Bay Area Whole Foods Market stores will donate 5% of profits from their sales on Tuesday, December 8th to support Bay Area Food Banks.
Find your nearest Whole Foods Market location

NOVEMBER 21:
Scouting For Food
Scouts across the Bay Area will be collecting food on this one day food drive. The weekend before they will place door hangers on homes that they will return to on November 21. Simply put a bag of food out on your porch that morning for the scouts and they will deliver it to the Food Bank. If you do not receive a door hanger, you can still donate by bringing the food to your local Bay Area Food Bank or most LDS churches.

NOVEMBER 21, 8:30AM - 5:30PM: 
NBC11 Bay Area/CVS Food Drive
Join CVS and NBC11 Bay Area for this single day drive to raise food for those in need! Stop by your local CVS and donate non-perishable food items to the Food Bank on the day of November 21st.
Find your local CVS pharmacy

What Matters to You?

Do you remember receiving a gift that really mattered to you?

For me, the gift I received that really mattered was an invitation.

The gift arrived when I was just out of school. My wife and I were in our first year of marriage, in our first apartment, living far from either of our families. We didn’t have much money, or know a lot of people. Thanksgiving was just around the corner. We felt awkward asking any of our new friends to share the holiday with us, and even more awkward making a lavish dinner for only two people. So, our grand Thanksgiving plan was to spend a day huddled in our apartment with movies and takeout.

Everything changed when we got a call from a woman we knew who lived on the other end of the bay. She invited us to her place for the Big Meal. Even though we didn't know her that well, or know who else would be there, we decided to take our chances and accept.

It turned out that we spent a truly magnificent Thanksgiving Day cooking, swapping stories, laughing, and hanging out with the oddest collection of people. There was a long-lost uncle, with beard and VW van. There was a classmate and his girlfriend. There was a friend of a friend, absent the friend that connected him. There were the two radical economic activists who lived downstairs. There was a foreign exchange student from a nearby school no one else had attended. And there were my wife and myself.

Lucky for us, our friend didn't share our reluctance to invite almost total strangers to the table. We enjoyed a wonderful holiday, and started a deep and lasting friendship.

The best thing about this gift was that it made me want to share it with others. In the (many) intervening years, my wife and I have made a practice of inviting widely for Thanksgiving. And we’ve never had a disappointing day, or spent that time with movies and takeout.

One thing I love about my work at Second Harvest is that I'm able to be a small part of a big invitation – the invitation to those who are hungry to come and eat their fill. Because of those who are willing to share what's on their table, those who are hungry can have milk and bread without cost. These are the gifts that have the power to change lives.

I'd like to know what gift you have received, that really mattered to you. Was it a bicycle or a special toy? Was it a piece of clothing or a plane ticket? Was it a gift of love? Or opportunity? Or time? Was it a meal?

I invite you to share your story by commenting below. For each comment we receive, our CEO Kathy Jackson will donate $10 to the "Share Your Story" 2009 Holiday Food and Fund drive.

Sincerely,

Bran Scott
Annual Fund and Systems Manager
Second Harvest Food Bank